My Mother
Her name is Laura.
She passed away my senior year of high school, when she was 47, and I was 18.
It was April 4th, 2007. It was the Wednesday before Easter, so the last day of school that week before the long-weekend. I don’t remember much from that time.
She was diagnosed with renal failure in the summer of 2002.She was on dialysis, 3 days a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. She very likely came home from dialysis, laid on the couch, and passed away in her sleep. Or I prefer to think that is what happened, and there is not anything to say otherwise.
I came home from school and found her, laying on the couch, almost as if she was asleep.I panicked, ran next door to get a neighbor, but there was nothing I could have done. It’s taken me nearly 2 years to accept that, and some days, I still linger on the “what-ifs.” “What if I had come home earlier?” “What if I had stayed home that day?”
I took her death significantly harder than my Father’s it would seem. But I think being the one to find her, and the finality of her death–the end of the life I knew–contributed to that greatly.
Her parents are still alive, and I see them often.
I look a lot like her, and sometimes it bothers me.
My Mom, My Nephew and I
My Mother at 18
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